Pencilling in Happiness

For the majority of us conjuring up the to-do-list has become as routine as the morning coffee. These items usually include phone calls, emails, groceries, housework, and now that Spring has sprung, the laborious task of pulling the garden weeds. These activities are of noteworthy importance and do require time, however what about some time for the author? Are you on your to-do-list?

All of us have a duty to ourselves and to others to strive to be happy. Feeling guilty about putting yourself on your to-do-list is nonsensical when you consider that your happiness is linked to physical health, improved self-esteem, coping skills, improved resilience, work satisfaction, and improved relationships with colleagues, friends and family.

Those things that are not prioritised do not get done. Because happiness is such an elusive term, we are not apt to pencilling it in under our daily activities. Is happiness something that you try to cultivate in your daily life or is it something that you hope will surface in the even more elusive ‘someday’? Annie Dillard’s book The Writing Life contains a passage that might just as cleverly apply to happiness as it does to words:

Do not hoard what seems good for a later place in the book, or for another book; give it, give it all, give it now... Something more will arise for later, something better. These things fill from behind, from beneath, like well water....

Allow for happiness in the present tense. Do not sidestep happiness for today, waiting for something to materialise tomorrow. Play your favourite songs not with the fear that you will come to hate them. There will always be new songs.

So let’s look at some concrete ways to strive for our personal happiness. When you look at your past, what are some tried and true ways that you found to boost your mood? Perhaps it’s listening to some of your favourite upbeat music, watching a fun movie or TV show, surfing the net, or playing chopsticks. Or conceivably baking a cake, going for a walk around the block, or making a call to a cheery friend, works for you. Create a list of “mood-boosters” for yourself, and the next time you rhyme off your things-to-do for the day add one or two of these activities.

Altruistic activities are very beneficial to our levels of contentment and happiness. Including something in your week that moves the focus from within to without significantly impacts the ‘happy-neurotransmitters’ in the brain such as dopamine and serotonin. A compliment benefits both donor and receiver, so spot a well-written proposal by a colleague or a good colour on a friend, and articulate it. And if time or money allow, consider volunteering for a cause you support or donating to a charity you admire.

Developing ‘an attitude of gratitude’ is another effective strategy in the hunt for happiness. People who are grateful for the blessings in their lives reap more for which to be grateful. To be conscious of small but significant successes in your day—like joining the fast-moving line at airport check-in, or surprisingly programming the PVR first-time around—does wonders for dopamine levels. Scribbling the things you are grateful for in a journal at bedtime is a sure-fire way to elevate your morale. Or for the more tech-savvy, the Happy Tapper’s Gratitude app makes appreciation effortless.

A focused mind is a happier mind. Consider the last time you lost track of time while immersed in a good book, or doing something creative like tackling an enjoyable piece on the piano. ‘Flow’ is the term used to describe this positive, energised state in which we lose all self-consciousness and sense of time. Now consider the ‘multi-tasker’ who has a million and one things on their mind and to-do-list. No one thing is worthy of their full attention, not even spouses, children or the soup that is boiling over on the stove. While some people may be capable of multitasking, for the majority of us this should be cast out as an experiment of modern time that has proven itself ineffective. When stretched too thinly, our mental health suffers. So discard the belief that success and being busy are synonymous. So parents to a couple of toddlers aside, ask yourself what three things you would like to do, and do well, by bedtime each day, prioritise those activities and focus on them one at a time.

So, the next time you find yourself making your to-do-list carefully consider what is in fact important. Do the weeds need to be pulled today or might ‘picking the daisies’ prove more beneficial? 

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Mid-June, I am launching my first package for weight management and emotional eating. The packages involve interactive videos, interesting questionnaires, and action points that make you accountable. The investment varies depending on whether you want coaching and to what extent. There's the cheap and cheerful home-study program, through to the limited VIP membership programs, all with forums for you to interact with other clients, providing support and motivation. I am presently working on the modules and am very excited about the subjects, from improving body-image, to overcoming perfectionism, to setting a new benchmark. So whether you want to lose that stubborn ten pounds, or considerably more, remember that 80% of your success in weight management is psychology. Only 20% of your success comes down to the "how-to's" of fat-loss, such as exercise and food-intake.....I will keep you posted so stay tuned. ;-)