Stay hungry. Stay foolish. (Part I)

With the recent passing of Steve Jobs, former CEO of Apple, there has been an influx of articles and YouTube videos broadcast over Facebook and the news. One such YouTube video I saw inspired me to write again after a rather long hiatus. It was a poignant address Jobs gave at the 2005 Stanford commencement.  He referred to a publication called The Whole Earth Catalogue, ‘one of the bibles of my generation’, said Jobs. On the back cover of the final issue of the Catalogue were the words; Stay hungry. Stay foolish. Since he read this in the mid-70’s, Jobs wished this for himself, and on that buoyant, sunny June afternoon, he wished this for his listeners.

Today’s blog concerns the first part of this bite of advice—Stay hungry. So what did Jobs mean when he said this? Well, if you ask me, stay hungry means:

Do something that keeps you curious. Be authentic to yourself—if you’re not hungry, then it’s someone else’s quest. Listen to your intuition. Be inspired to get out of bed. Be unsatiated in the face of the mundane, the tedious and the tiring. Continue in spite of the messy details. Understand that the hurdles are just there for a short time and will be overcome when you keep your mind set on the task at hand. It’s not just about immediate gratification—it’s longer term. It keeps you strong, but is beyond strength. When you stay hungry for something it’s a sign that this is part of your greater purpose.

When I’m hungry for something I’m not forcing myself to do it. I’m doing it because it feels natural, uncontrived. I’ve been reading The 7 Spiritual Laws of Success by Deepak Chopra recently and this brought to mind the 4^th law called, The Law of Least Effort. The underlying principles of this law sound familiar: do less and accomplish more, have clarity for what you wish to accomplish. Neither the good nor the bad opinion of others is of concern. Feelings of superiority or inferiority are immaterial. The trivial and the mundane are tangential. Rather, you feel inspired and naturally pursue your goal, without resistance.

So for the readers out there to whom the above appeals, but who don’t feel hungry enough, perhaps asking the following questions will assist you in finding what you are hungry for:

1. What would you do, even if you were not paid?

2. a) Grab a blank sheet of paper, on the top write My Purpose and brainstorm below. But don’t stop until there is a tear in your eye. (This is a powerful exercise. It can be highly cathartic.)

Let me provide an example:

             My Purpose:

o   to know myself

o   to accept myself

o   to let go of the script

o   to entertain

o   to trust others

o   to trust myself

o   to support

o   to be so free that I allow for other’s freedom

o   to lose some inhibition

o   ….and so forth….

 2. b)If you are having difficulty discovering where this leads, follow this with the question: So that, what?

As an example, I may realize that my purpose is to feel free enough to be myself, so that I may be able to ‘get out of my own way’, thereby providing the optimum therapeutic setting for my clients.

3. What would you do if you had only one year to live?

4. Remembering back to when you were a child, what did you want to do when you were 4?  8?  13? 16?

5. What did you love to do as a child for fun?

6. When you go to a bookstore, what aisles do you feel naturally drawn to? Is it interior design, gardening, languages, business, photography or health?

7. Think of times in your life when you were ‘on fire’ or ‘in the zone’. What were you doing? Were you playing an instrument, writing, listening, or designing?

Hopefully these exercises offer a fresh perspective on your own life as it is, not saying that you have to make a career change (sorry if this became an expensive exercise!). But perhaps you can include an activity in your life that you feel an affinity for—that keeps you hungry.

Join in next time to Stay foolish.

Exploit Habit to your Advantage

For those of you who have been trickling back to catch up on the latest with the detoxing blogger—I apologize. The number of followers has dwindled down to an unimpressive zero as of today. So I have decided that I need to be far more consistent in my blog writing. So now for the update: I completed 8 days of what started as a 5-day detox. Once I arrived at Day 5 I considered going for 10 days but with a wedding looming on Day 9, I decided that I would be content enough in finishing after 8 days. I awoke at 5:30AM on Day 9 and wolfed down a can of tuna (strangely enough)…not in keeping with the ‘Ease-Out’ portion of the detox, I might add. After my slightly guilt-ridden, impulsive protein feast I went back to bed and tried to erase that little nibble from my mind. Obviously, that hasn’t worked, but what is important here is that I had successfully not chewed anything for 8 days, and most importantly, am still chuffed (happy) with myself.  The following is a little piece I wrote for a newsletter that explains more the reasons and benefits of the detox:

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"Bad habits are like a comfortable bed, easy to get into, but hard to get out of." -Unknown

Since Easter, when I over-did it on the mini-eggs, I began to develop some bad habits in terms of my eating. I had become a little apathetic regarding some of my food picks, and began to notice a difference in how I was feeling from day to day. I was more tired than usual, and a bit foggy in my thinking, and my jeans were hugging a little tighter than I would have liked.

It was time to press RESET. Veering in the wrong direction, I know it’s time to create a new mindset, a new vision—RECALCULATE—as my GPS would do. There can be many a slippery slope, times when I am open to losing influence. And to add fire to the pan, I am aware that the longer I’m heading in the wrong direction, the more likely I am to lose sight of my initial destination.

Detoxing is a great way to press reset. This is why I enjoy and endure a detox every season. It provides me with a fresh perspective on many levels—physically, mentally, and spiritually.  

So a little bit on the Benefits:

From a physical perspective, my digestive system has a chance to rest and eliminate the build of up of toxins, both those that the body produces, like lactic acid, homocysteine, and ammonia; and those that are human-made, coming from our environment, food and water. When the blocked energy in the intestine is freed up, it frees up energy throughout the body—blood, nerve impulses and lymph move without hesitation when the channels are unblocked.  Some of the more tangible benefits that I can see resulting from detoxification of my body include softer skin, clearer eyes, noticeable reduction in levels of arthritis in my left hand, (my only problem spot so far, and hopefully for ever if I continue to pursue a healthy lifestyle), some body fat reduction, sleeping better, and brighter skin. It is worth mentioning that I was rarely hungry or dizzy.

The benefits from a mental perspective include greater clarity of thought, and greater energy. I should mention here that there were days when I was quite tired, and this is one of the common side-effects of the detoxing process. However, for the most part I was pleasantly surprised by elevated energy levels.

Given that detoxing is such a holistic process, the physical, mental and spiritual benefits are often blurred. So from herein, I will not relegate my findings to any specific area, rather I will set the stage from a broader perspective.

"Habit is either the best of servants or the worst of masters."

When I eliminate food for a period of time, I start to become conscious of how often I used to eat unconsciously—not noticing, not enjoying the textures or tastes, not aware of whether the food is ‘helping’ or ‘hindering’—mindlessly gnawing on something while my mind is still pre-occupied with the details of the day.

When I start to re-introduce food following a detox, I am so much more aware of the flavours and textures of the food. I am better able to choose the best foods because I am no longer searching for something to satisfy cravings. The detox is my summersault off the springboard back to the nutritious, holistic foods that I deserve.

Nathaniel Emmons is quoted as saying; "Habit is either the best of servants or the worst of masters." Exploit habit to your advantage. 

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The detoxifying cleanse I just completed is called the Master Cleanse. Go to www.themastercleanse.org for more details. If you are interested in checking out a detox book, The Beauty Detox Solution by Kimberly Snyder is a good, easy, informative read. Jason Vale, a.k.a. the Juice Master adds a bit more hype to the scene and you can find everything from recipes to retreats at www.juicemaster.com Join me in my next blog on ‘the metaphorical detox’.

Sign of the Times with the Detoxing Blogger--DAY 2

Day 2: Actually when I woke this morning I was pretty chuffed (content, for you North Americans) with myself for my success on Day 1. As I waited for sleep last night, I anticipated great disappointment on waking to discover that yet another glass of lemonade was in store, and I figured that the thought of my usual crunchy muesli or omelette would have me instantly salivating. But, thankfully not.

A couple of hours later at the Farmer’s Market at Wychwood Barns in Toronto I was put to the test. These vegan hipsters with their dreads and lumber-jack accessories thought they could win me over with their gluten-free, wheat-free, flourless, cruelty-free, eco-friendly, sugar-free, dairy-free, soy-free quinoa bites, but no.  I was a force to be reckoned with. I came armed you see, with two full bottles of lemonade and Monika.  Monika is my current coach who inspired me to do the detox in the first place. She was figuratively sitting on my shoulder through out the experience. Every time another hippie stepped up with a tasty sample of their wears, in her Polish accent, she would pipe up, “It’s not worth it, Darling” and “I’m on Day 6.” Between encouragement and a healthy dose of competition, I was inspired. I left with an impressive bottle of maple syrup to add to my stash at home, and a bouquet of tulips.

It’s now time for some shut-eye so until tomorrow, when I’ll be back as the detoxing blogger with some words on motivation from my soon-to-be-launched home-study package on overcoming emotional eating and living life on purpose. Thanks for tuning in!

Sign of the Times with the Detoxing Blogger

Ticking off the ‘fail box’ is a no-no when you’ve got public humility at stake.  So even if it’s just about saving myself embarrassment, this blog has become my modern-day version of the public lashing. You see, yesterday I was inspired by a colleague to start a liquid detox. (Beyone Knowles is also a fan of this detox.) And considering that I just finished writing a piece on motivation in which I recommend clients to blog about their trek from ‘fat’ to ‘fit’, I thought this was a good opportunity to ‘walk the walk’, ‘talk the talk’ and all that….so here it goes. 

Day 1:  This morning I opened my eyes with a combination of excitement and trepidation at the thought of chewing absolutely nothing for the next five days. I have since discovered a few things:

1.     I have saved myself a huge amount of time. When you eliminate making a grocery list, grocery shopping, putting away said groceries, preparing groceries, and eating groceries, there’s a few extra hours in the day. Hence more time for said blog.

2.     And in true fashion, I have managed to call numerous friends today in an effort to procrastinate. No hard feelings, but no one cares to hear about a detox. Unless your friend/colleague is also detoxing, I advise the topic be avoided at all costs. I’m not sure why no one’s interested, but I imagine with all this spare time, I’ll conjure up some good notion as to why by day four.

3.     Hunger has surprisingly been satiated by the mix of water, lemon, maple syrup and cayenne pepper. This is a relief.

4.     Another surprising observation is that I’m quite alert. I’m not a caffeine junkie thankfully so going without the morning coffee was not an issue for me. (However, if you are partial to your morning latte, it’s advised you move from the ‘grande to the ‘short’ over the few days preceding your detox.)

I’ll provide an update tomorrow. Of course, it could just be that no one cares to hear about a detox or read about one, in which case….

Pencilling in Happiness

For the majority of us conjuring up the to-do-list has become as routine as the morning coffee. These items usually include phone calls, emails, groceries, housework, and now that Spring has sprung, the laborious task of pulling the garden weeds. These activities are of noteworthy importance and do require time, however what about some time for the author? Are you on your to-do-list?

All of us have a duty to ourselves and to others to strive to be happy. Feeling guilty about putting yourself on your to-do-list is nonsensical when you consider that your happiness is linked to physical health, improved self-esteem, coping skills, improved resilience, work satisfaction, and improved relationships with colleagues, friends and family.

Those things that are not prioritised do not get done. Because happiness is such an elusive term, we are not apt to pencilling it in under our daily activities. Is happiness something that you try to cultivate in your daily life or is it something that you hope will surface in the even more elusive ‘someday’? Annie Dillard’s book The Writing Life contains a passage that might just as cleverly apply to happiness as it does to words:

Do not hoard what seems good for a later place in the book, or for another book; give it, give it all, give it now... Something more will arise for later, something better. These things fill from behind, from beneath, like well water....

Allow for happiness in the present tense. Do not sidestep happiness for today, waiting for something to materialise tomorrow. Play your favourite songs not with the fear that you will come to hate them. There will always be new songs.

So let’s look at some concrete ways to strive for our personal happiness. When you look at your past, what are some tried and true ways that you found to boost your mood? Perhaps it’s listening to some of your favourite upbeat music, watching a fun movie or TV show, surfing the net, or playing chopsticks. Or conceivably baking a cake, going for a walk around the block, or making a call to a cheery friend, works for you. Create a list of “mood-boosters” for yourself, and the next time you rhyme off your things-to-do for the day add one or two of these activities.

Altruistic activities are very beneficial to our levels of contentment and happiness. Including something in your week that moves the focus from within to without significantly impacts the ‘happy-neurotransmitters’ in the brain such as dopamine and serotonin. A compliment benefits both donor and receiver, so spot a well-written proposal by a colleague or a good colour on a friend, and articulate it. And if time or money allow, consider volunteering for a cause you support or donating to a charity you admire.

Developing ‘an attitude of gratitude’ is another effective strategy in the hunt for happiness. People who are grateful for the blessings in their lives reap more for which to be grateful. To be conscious of small but significant successes in your day—like joining the fast-moving line at airport check-in, or surprisingly programming the PVR first-time around—does wonders for dopamine levels. Scribbling the things you are grateful for in a journal at bedtime is a sure-fire way to elevate your morale. Or for the more tech-savvy, the Happy Tapper’s Gratitude app makes appreciation effortless.

A focused mind is a happier mind. Consider the last time you lost track of time while immersed in a good book, or doing something creative like tackling an enjoyable piece on the piano. ‘Flow’ is the term used to describe this positive, energised state in which we lose all self-consciousness and sense of time. Now consider the ‘multi-tasker’ who has a million and one things on their mind and to-do-list. No one thing is worthy of their full attention, not even spouses, children or the soup that is boiling over on the stove. While some people may be capable of multitasking, for the majority of us this should be cast out as an experiment of modern time that has proven itself ineffective. When stretched too thinly, our mental health suffers. So discard the belief that success and being busy are synonymous. So parents to a couple of toddlers aside, ask yourself what three things you would like to do, and do well, by bedtime each day, prioritise those activities and focus on them one at a time.

So, the next time you find yourself making your to-do-list carefully consider what is in fact important. Do the weeds need to be pulled today or might ‘picking the daisies’ prove more beneficial? 

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Mid-June, I am launching my first package for weight management and emotional eating. The packages involve interactive videos, interesting questionnaires, and action points that make you accountable. The investment varies depending on whether you want coaching and to what extent. There's the cheap and cheerful home-study program, through to the limited VIP membership programs, all with forums for you to interact with other clients, providing support and motivation. I am presently working on the modules and am very excited about the subjects, from improving body-image, to overcoming perfectionism, to setting a new benchmark. So whether you want to lose that stubborn ten pounds, or considerably more, remember that 80% of your success in weight management is psychology. Only 20% of your success comes down to the "how-to's" of fat-loss, such as exercise and food-intake.....I will keep you posted so stay tuned. ;-)

Inundated by your 'to-do-list'?

Ever feel inundated by your 'to-do-list'? As a part-time, wanna-be-writer, I have a plethora of ideas sparking off in my brain at any one point and what feels like no time to formulate these on paper. As a part-time weight-management coach, I hesitate to admit that I'm all too aware of the importance of goal setting, living in-the-moment, etc, etc, but a recent relocation to Toronto has my mind doing summersaults--it's especially prone to gymnastics in the early hours of the morning. Before you start making any judgments over my competence as a weight-management coach, do bare in mind that coaches are nevertheless mere mortals like everyone else. I often wish that I could give my brain a good Spring-clean. Maybe, give it a good shake, like I would a rug. Or put it in the wash on, 'Normal'. Or, if I could get my computer guy to come over and perform a defragmentation every six weeks. Conscious of the fact that these are not viable options, I must seek another solution.

So yesterday I headed to Indigo for some inspirational advise on how to manage time--and life--better. Scouring bookshelves, my mind fills with images of my future-self indulging in plentiful free-time. In the bubble above my head, I'm leisurely sipping a cup of dulce & banana herbal tea, while perched on my couch, legs folded beneath me, either suspended in Afghan fiction, some pretentious prose, spurting off Italian--whatever catches my attention for a brief interlude, on my way to the self-development section. 

Four hours later, I emerge--hope resurrected. But, this lasts all of half a block. On my way home, I wonder which of the four books I should read first. Should I hurriedly, speed read my way through each tonight, in search of some nuggets of advice? Might I feel more inundated with so much information? So I start by opening book number one, The Pledge, by Michael Masterson. I speed read through the first two chapters. I like his approach. It has a few new twists compared with so many others on creating an 'Abundant Life'. In part three, Masterson shares with me how I can save 589 hours per year, which is the equivalent of fourteen 40-hour workweeks. Now that would be impressive, but this does make me wonder about my quality of life. In this scenario, I'm now taking two-minute showers, so I hardly have time to wash out the shampoo, never mind condition. I'm eating at my desk, I have the bed-time of an eight-year-old, as such, I'm missing Grey's Anatomy, and it gets worse. My heart starts into palpitations as I read about the parts of my early morning routine. The bubble above my head now consists of a disheveled looking woman, wearing one shoe, eating tuna out of a can rested on the kitchen counter (high protein breakfast), attempting to prop up an impotent section of the The Globe and Mail.

Masterson hails the pre-dawn activities of other entrepreneurs, such as Ben Franklin and Donald Trump. Including Masterson, these three have collectively walked, jogged, stretched, meditated, thought positively, read poetry and philosophy, written poetry, fiction and non-fiction, journalled, assigned tasks to assistants, eaten a high-protein breakfast while reading a dozen newspapers, completed numerous objectives in their respective businesses, and all before noon. Although I may come across as being facetious, I do indeed commend anyone able to achieve all of this by noon. Truth be told, I am envious of their steadfast ability to prioritize as they do. In my world, the following quote seems more applicable:

Life is not orderly. No matter how we try to make life so, right in the middle of it we die, lose a leg, fall in love, drop a jar of applesauce.

--Natalie Goldberg

In comparison with Masterson and his team of high-achievers, I’m feeling not inspired, but a bit defeated, if not a tad inundated again. But, before I start highlighting the obvious differences of sex and turning this into a feminist blog, with Michael, Ben and Donald on one side, and Natalie and I on the other, I have to own up to the fact that I have no family hanging out of my apron strings, nor a conventional, full-time job. The usual scapegoats do not apply. My recent inability to structure my life, namely, complete my daily tasks and write, is entirely my own fault.

So in a further attempt to delay the inevitable, I promptly pull out book number two: Your Writing Coach, by Jurgen Wolff. The unavoidable first chapter is all about fear—the fear of rejection, the fear of success, the fear that it won’t be good enough, the fear of revealing too much, the fear that you will be overwhelmed by research. As a weight management coach and human being I know all about these fears. In my therapy training I analyzed all of these fears in relation to myself ‘till the cows came home, turning blue in the face. Whenever I want to make a change, resistance always raises its formidable head. Resistance is a strange phenomenon. As Peter F. Drucker aptly stated:

What you have to do and the way you have to do it are incredibly simple. Whether you are willing to do it is another matter.

Wolff offers some advice about fear; “…put them aside now and focus your attention and your energy on what only you can write.” So I put my fears aside….oh, but I must develop a writing schedule, so onto book number three.

In Kelly L. Stone’s smart, little book, Time to Write, she offers many routines to chose from, such as the early-morning writer, to the after-hours writer, to the blitz-writer, to the mini-blocks-of-time writer, to the any-opportunity writer. Too many choices. Nike’s little checkmark appears in the bubble above my head. So I leave book number four. I just write.

When I feel inundated, I know that beneath all the indecision, there lies my intuition. It’s so simple that I sometimes doubt it. Should this not be more complicated? Whether you call it the inner-self, your essence, or your soul, allow yourself a moment to listen to that untapped source within, and then ‘Just do it’.